“Cause you’re the kind of person who’s out at the intersection of Nature and Nurture in the middle of a Tuesday, buying one pack of smokes with mostly change. One of the bills was wet. Just one of them.”
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“Let’s get all the bitches straight!”
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“How else am I supposed to pilot a vehicle properly without gauntlets!?”
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“Does that beard come with automatic windows?”
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“Maybe aliens, when they come down, their ballsacks will look like Balzacs”
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“It’s like a pub crawl but for adorable internet memes”
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“That’s my metaphor for humanity. Just Mike Tyson wailing on his own nutsack as hard as he can.”
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“So I see in the back of the shop what appears to be a human bag of douche shaking its head at me”
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“You started the game and then you got defensive suddenly”
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“Please tell Mr. Slippywitz that he left his shark at the party and so we ate it.”
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