Tag Archives: Ted Cruz
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and then wish into your wishing hand that you hadn’t shat into your shitting hand.”
“I’m here to build bridges that go underwater… so they’re not really bridges. They’re just ramps.”
“This is not the spur of the moment it’s the taint of the moment”
“Crystal Meth Clear”
“We’re building more walls. We’re building a maze!”
“My to-do list is to make a to-do list and I’m going to cross that off and go to sleep.”
“I feel exquisitely blessed and fabulous”
“How else am I supposed to pilot a vehicle properly without gauntlets!?”
“In all my excitement for sibcasting today, a purple liquid just shot out of me. And I don’t know where it came from. Just somewhere in the middle. Belly button maybe?”