Tag Archives: Stephen Colbert

“My to-do list is to make a to-do list and I’m going to cross that off and go to sleep.”

“I feel exquisitely blessed and fabulous”

“So I see in the back of the shop what appears to be a human bag of douche shaking its head at me”

“You started the game and then you got defensive suddenly”

“Normally when things are super I’m all aboard. But not in this case. Like a super-rainbow, or a super-disco, or a super-orgy – I’m all-in… in more ways than one.”

“I stopped giving shits two weeks ago. That is why I am speaking to you in this doctor’s office.”

“You’re the one making yourself look like a tiny plastic hamster in your own mind. That’s something YOU need to address.”