“There are probably pockets of farmers holding guns and just refusing to change their clocks.”

“I’m gonna assign names to you people as I meet you and I want you to remember my name for you rather than me remembering your stupid name.”

“He’s the man with the protruding phallus that tells time.”

“Are you a phantom? A genital-waving phantom?”

“I’m terrible with people and so I don’t get laid by any of them. Especially the ones that I want to get laid by. The women. Let me be clear, once again.”

“In 100 years we’re just in the same place but worn out. Our pants are all worn out. They’re all werewolved.”

“Every word has junk, and I wanna know which way it faces.”

“You scofflaws get off of my stoop!”

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