October 2, 2015
039 The Energizer Bitches: They just keep going and going
“I stopped giving shits two weeks ago. That is why I am speaking to you in this doctor’s office.”
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September 28, 2015
038 Long story pant
“How mustachioed can you be while you fix my coffee!?”
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September 13, 2015
037 Your muscles and your sexuality both have to be confused
“You don’t have Alzheimer’s, it’s just more like your mind works as a conveyor and as you put things on it, they fall off the other end.”
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September 4, 2015
036 Willy-Nilly
“You’re the one making yourself look like a tiny plastic hamster in your own mind. That’s something YOU need to address.”
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August 27, 2015
035 Not just willfully ignorant. Forcefully ignorant.
“In a binary cat system there will always be a larger gravitational pull in one of the cats”
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August 21, 2015
034 The one with the sandwich
“How are you, Tedworth?” … “I’m jotally tacked!”
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August 18, 2015
033 The first security detail that’s all ambiguous genitalia
“I don’t know anything about Jews.” “I think they came from space. And then they built the pyramids.”
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August 12, 2015
032 A Snowball’s Chance in Congress
“That’s an impoitant pornt to ensaphize”
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August 4, 2015
031 Jiggling Competencies
“This is time for swears. Like poopinanny!”
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“Opportunity doesn’t always knock on a door. Sometimes it yells at a window.”
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