“How else am I supposed to pilot a vehicle properly without gauntlets!?”

“I just bought what I needed and I paid too much for it, but then I threw half of it away anyway, and then I crossed the finish line FIRST! WITH TIME TO SPARE!”

“I’m super jealous I didn’t think of the chinbeard first”

“A flappy, jowly buttocks! Masterful and keen! He would coil it up so that he may travel. And unfurl it at his pleasure, and others around him!”

“I sure hope that they inserted that into their annals”

“Like a deer rebuffering at the side of a wifi stream. It’s not what you think. He’s actually lifting weights. He’s just straight lifting. He’s rebuffering.”

“Bambi 3: Rebuffering by The Wifi Stream”

“So You Think You Can Backflip Faster Than This Other Guy Who Has The Record. It’s like a combination of Jeopardy, So You Think You Can Dance, and backflipping.”

“For sexin’ or cheesin’. That’s what we use goats for.”

“Shwistbuckling Coach-Pirates”

“If I ever lose a finger I’m going to be offering a lot more ‘high fives’ to people more of the time.”

“How do you get to Carnegie Hall? You walk. Or you drive. And then you go see me perform shadow puppets on Fridays and Saturdays every week.”

“Skylerseph Rigormortis Johnson Smithey”

“That’s like the mullet of genitalia”

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