“Please tell Mr. Slippywitz that he left his shark at the party and so we ate it.”

“Hey for all we know that shark was frolicsome”

“If you don’t mind your duck getting punched in the face… by grown men.”

“But hey, you gotta watch out for those mountain sharks. Which I think are called wolves.”

“She used to be the handjob queen of Long Island!”

“It seems to me there’s a very big fallacy and – not the normal fallacy you’ll find on the internet… if you search for fallacy you’ll probably not get what I’m talking about anymore. But no judgement.”

“Why are flies and butterflies so different?”

“I’m trying to help rip the chimney out of all of your houses”

“They’re as hot as California is dry: Devastatingly.”

“I’m strawberrely making it”

“I hear one of the principal ingredients of pumpkin spice is uh… goofball.”

“Like I said, God didn’t want us to see that. He’s pissed about that, I’m sure. He’s like, ‘I didn’t want you seeing slo-mo. I don’t want you to see what happens there. It’s all jiggly and weird. I didn’t finish that part.’”

“I will give you a million dollars, just wear this pair of underwear. Specially designed. There’s not a microphone in it. Uh… nevermind. Just wear the underwear.”

“The back door into innovation! The pants door!”

“Chainsawing farts”

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