“William Shatner is like one of those self-inflatable things on an airplane. If the ‘80s crashed then William Shatner flew out of it and is saving lives by inflating himself. Slowly. And automatically.”
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“A mobius of impractical clothing. How do I put this shirt on? There’s no inside or outside! It’s a bunch of sleeves wrapped in on one another.”
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“Punishingly ironic”
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“Sir Reginald Excellence Tallmaster Commodore 64”
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“That’s so much work. I’ve gotta like, move my hands and they’re busy picking my nose”
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“Not only is that incompetent, it’s incontinent”
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“Get the ol’ face holes primed”
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“A crabby tuft on Bigfoot’s face”
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“I do not put those on like Iron Man – as my strong suit”
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“Damn knitters changing the color of the neighborhood
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