May 3, 2015

019 Can you feel the algorithm?

“I don’t think that movie’s probably popular anymore because of the retarded Michael Keaton.”

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April 30, 2015

018 Turn your D into a P

“We don’t need you to come in. We know what your nipples look like. I’ve got them memorized. They haunt my nightmares. I can no longer make love to my wife.”

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April 25, 2015

017 Hissy fit jeans have more flare

“I did the math using common core and, from what I can tell, you owe me seven tomatoes and also four tomatoes and two tomatoes and six tomatoes.”

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April 14, 2015

015 It’s hard with a name like Adolf

Bear with us for the first several minutes of this ‘cast as there are some microphone difficulties, but they clear up soon enough!

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April 11, 2015

014 Shart Shooter

“Everyone who you offended gets to stand in line and punch you in the balls. And if you don’t have balls by the end it, that’s your own fault. You should have thought of that.”

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April 8, 2015

013 Birthday Unspecial

“You know, I don’t think that kids are sniffing enough markers. I think we can really resolve this issue. Kids should really be inhaling more artificial flavorings and chemicals… marker chemicals.”

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April 3, 2015

012 Amateur-lapsers… always half-assing it

Hang onto your fanny packs, this is by far the wildest epidode yet!

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March 31, 2015

011 This isn’t a math situation, it’s a number crime!

“When I read some of the pages in this book I start to frown. Can we make my face stop frowning? Can we put words in here that make my face go up?”

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