Category Archives: Slam Junk
“If you think we can make a good net to catch a dolphin, imagine how good a net a dolphin could make to catch a person.”
“If you really want to help Charlie Sheen, give him a cure for Charlie Sheen.”
“My shit is a has-been for sure”
“If you ever eat a banana that’s especially large, it’s a little bit emasculating.”
“From a dog whistle to a whale fart, and everything in between”
“I’m telling you, check all anuses. Do a cavity search of the whole house.”
“It’s not a spit take it’s a spit give”
“Cause you’re the kind of person who’s out at the intersection of Nature and Nurture in the middle of a Tuesday, buying one pack of smokes with mostly change. One of the bills was wet. Just one of them.”
“Maybe aliens, when they come down, their ballsacks will look like Balzacs”
“That’s my metaphor for humanity. Just Mike Tyson wailing on his own nutsack as hard as he can.”