095 The glass is half full… of teeth
“I’m on a David Bowie-sized quarter roll”
“It starts directly behind the rabbit’s brain and it spirals all the way to the anus: A cone of spiraling turds”
“Don’t you plan ahead? Your meals. Your shitting. You don’t just shit your pants, do you? Ok. Same thing with the rabbit. The rabbit’s not just gonna shit its pants, because it’s not wearing them. What are you talking about?”
“I got off Harriet Tubman’s undercloud railroad”
“You’ll see sliders in fields and eggs in trees and meaninglessness in life”
“The more you learn the less you know. The more you don’t know the less you want to live.”
“A little crab jacket. For if you’re too crabby. And you’re a crab. And you need a jacket.”
“‘Crotch boner’ is like ‘cis male’. It’s redundant”
“Every time Bernie Sanders tells the truth Mark Ruffalo’s eye boners grow one size”
“What do you think Hulk meat tastes like?”
“I’m gonna say it: E.T. looks very edible”
“Sausage Fist. We are working our way through the colon of Germany”
“It’s very easy to not burn bridges, just to leave bridges to decay”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download