“We know about the birds and the bees, but then no one ever explains separately birds and bees.”

“Imagine if when you had a zit on face and it, leaked it made more face. Like a face-cano.”

“Is it just because he’s good looking and he’s talented so he’s just like ‘My hair can look like a turd that’s surfing.’”

“It definitely wasn’t Christmas with the amount of rapping that was done.”

“I’m dating my calendar”

“You’re either all on board or you don’t even know where the butt pirate ship is sailing.”

“I senence you to dea”

“I think Donald Trump isn’t the right color. You’re not supposed to be orange with white highlights around your eyes and mouth.”

“Trump’s makeup is going to be running for president”

“The food is shitty and shaped like dicks. It will fuck you up.”

“When someone comes along and is able to cryogenically un-freeze these jokes… without them dying.”

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