“If you look in the back room there’s a bunch of komodo dragons licking enormous paper mache scrotums.”

“Scrotum Island is actually a penis-ula that we mistook for a ballsin.”

“I don’t think Einstein would have gotten shit done if he had been born today because he would have just been watching cat videos.”

“The emperor’s new cactus… is sentient. And it’s repairing the plumbing right now.”

“Skylerseph, get over here and help coordinate this attack!”

“We want to ceremonially and officially bury this stupid-ass direction that we were all going once. Now we all go west, all of the time! All flights!”

“Ironically the west coast will survive – but only grammatically.”

“They will ejaculate rejoices!”

“When you add up all the different stupid wheels that annoy, it’s like a hundred wheels out of a thousand. So it’s maybe a tenth special interests. And then the rest of us are just sitting here… wheely confused about it all.”

“All the way from the streams of Wisconsin: Purified water cheese”

“You can’t be both! That’s an abuse of mutual exclusivity!”

“I want to bring Dr. Kevorkian in here to mercifully end mutual exclusivity’s existence because it has been put through so much pain and turmoil by the far right, because apparently things are always one or the other… unless they’re everything.”

“When we all have forward-facing earholes and two-liter buttholes, we’re gonna have to have anal hoagies in order to feed ourselves.”

“I think he’s an understudy for Bozo the clown. So he’s been out of work for a while.”

“Sharing is caring, unless you’re sharing poison.” – “Or diarrhea.”

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