“You’re so dumb that your body and your muscles are fighting against gravity to maintain any modicum of blood in your head and your feet sometimes lose all blood and so you are able to shoot yourself in the foot conversationally: Dumbabetes.”

“I bet there’s two baby squirrels and like a couple dozen eggs in those trees, at least.”

“What are we supposed to do with you? You’re more delicious than you are cute – and that’s sayin something.”

“The Fountain of Euthanization”

“If Harriet Tubman starts an underground railroad in heaven is it just an Earth railroad?”

“Impossible blackness takes impossible offense to your whitewashing of his galaxies.”

“That’s your sleep pattern. It’s following you. And shooting guns in the air.”