“You know what I dramamine”

“You’re not allowed to be onboard if you’re a dick. That’s redundant.”

“It’s like a big dung beetle ball with money stuck to it. That’s basically what accruing wealth is like.”

“To incorporate it is to die from insane lusting into the oblivion”

“To the flash of existence all the way back at the pre-dawn of time, before the big bang even bung.”

“Cake boxes are the only thing that’s allowed to say ‘moist’ anymore”

“You don’t bring a latte to the table, do you? You have to have one served to you!”

“I’m pouring conversation into your face as I pour coffee into your cup”

“Coffee Madness! A bunch of people drinking coffee and then beating the shit out of pianists.”

“If you don’t like two words I’ll just combine them into a third word that maybe you do like”