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“What is a stack of papers but a sandwich, really?”

“There’s never enough p”

“May I expose these truths that happen to be in my pants?”

“You probably catch as many or more flies with turds than you do with honey.”

“This information is a vegetable. I will not be digesting it at all, in that case.”

“I’m not sure how I could be sure of anything… since I am a lie.”

“I’m telling you, check all anuses. Do a cavity search of the whole house.”