Category Archives: The Sibcast
“Over here the bubbles just sit on beanbag chairs and flip you off when you ask them to vote.”
“I’m not a hasbian or a yestergay, I’m a nowcoholic. I live for today!”
“Eat a salad of venus fly traps, and pineapples. And beetles. The salad that eats you back. Try to eat it first. And coral reef.”
“You do really bad things like not buying novelty stuffed tree sloths. What a terrible person.”
“There are probably pockets of farmers holding guns and just refusing to change their clocks.”
“Most sensible people and well-read elephants understand this already”
“I don’t think that movie’s probably popular anymore because of the retarded Michael Keaton.”
“We don’t need you to come in. We know what your nipples look like. I’ve got them memorized. They haunt my nightmares. I can no longer make love to my wife.”
“I did the math using common core and, from what I can tell, you owe me seven tomatoes and also four tomatoes and two tomatoes and six tomatoes.”
“Everyone knows how to turn lemonade into pee. But can you get it back the other way?”