“It’s like a pub crawl but for adorable internet memes”

“I’m Super Anal. Don’t mind me. I work behind the scenes.”

“Is this water that we’re floating on? It doesn’t seem like water. Also not chocolate. I have mixed feelings about this tour, suddenly.”

“Damn it, donkey! You jackass! Get your head out of your ass, you’re ruining the game!”

“Not presence of mind. Presents of stores. I need to buy my feelings. For money.”

“Most of us are just screwing up life”

“I also feel like all of these ideas are less crazy than Ben Carson has turned out to be”

“Deckin’ bitches in the teef”

“Jacey make booboo”

“They understand racial hatred. But they don’t understand a fucking box of litter! Cats!”

“Side-saddling the shit out of a vespa… down like a boardwalk, possibly. Or an aforementioned cobble street.”

“I shouldn’t have tried to catch that sword. That was foolish of me. When they tossed it I should’ve known that was a bad idea.”

“No matter what, in any movie, no matter how badass a lady is, you can always just bitch slap her unconscious.”

“Equality! That’s what it’s about. Women have the right to knock each other unconscious and be paid to do it.”

“A slip-n-slide of tail”

“It’s not called what it is it’s called how you’ll feel”

“Dick Pepper rounding out the lineup! Bringing up the rear, Dick Pepper! Dick Pepper, jamming himself in the hole!”

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