Tag Archives: Santa

Hello

“I’m going to get a tongue surgically installed in my butt so I can find out what that asshole is saying.”

“I have to doodies peepees”

“I would never disrespect a lighter so as to use one for anything other than doing drugs”

“I was shaming myself amongst the northern lights…”

“Ho down at the hootenanny! She tripped on some poontang!”

“Does that beard come with automatic windows?”

“You’re the one making yourself look like a tiny plastic hamster in your own mind. That’s something YOU need to address.”

“We don’t need you to come in. We know what your nipples look like. I’ve got them memorized. They haunt my nightmares. I can no longer make love to my wife.”