Tag Archives: John Oliver
“William Shatner is like one of those self-inflatable things on an airplane. If the ‘80s crashed then William Shatner flew out of it and is saving lives by inflating himself. Slowly. And automatically.”
“Is this what YouTube is now? Your tube?”
“If you think we can make a good net to catch a dolphin, imagine how good a net a dolphin could make to catch a person.”
“You’re the one making yourself look like a tiny plastic hamster in your own mind. That’s something YOU need to address.”
“How are you, Tedworth?” … “I’m jotally tacked!”
“You know, I don’t think that kids are sniffing enough markers. I think we can really resolve this issue. Kids should really be inhaling more artificial flavorings and chemicals… marker chemicals.”