Category Archives: Slam Junk

It’s like a slam dunk, except with balls… wait, so a slam dunk.

“I hold dinners and balls”

“Picking up shit in heaven is better than taking shits in hell”

“This information is a vegetable. I will not be digesting it at all, in that case.”

“Pluto is tired of our mixed signals; both television broadcast and emotional connections to its existence.”

“Good news, you get some really toned and defined glutes. Bad news, they’re like pistons for turds.”

“We know about the birds and the bees, but then no one ever explains separately birds and bees.”

“If you think we can make a good net to catch a dolphin, imagine how good a net a dolphin could make to catch a person.”

“If you really want to help Charlie Sheen, give him a cure for Charlie Sheen.”

“My shit is a has-been for sure”

“If you ever eat a banana that’s especially large, it’s a little bit emasculating.”