“I’d like a small dish of cholesterol pellets please and a bowl of tartar soup”

“Grunge has fully wrapped back around and started chewing on its own ass… just like punk did.”

“I need a note from your doctor saying you’re impossibly fat”

“Everybody, eat eggs. Eggs are great. Because they just shoot out of chickens no matter what.”

“A shark swimming in reverse and slowly suffocating itself”

“You don’t want the probe to widen”

“Mitch Martial Arts”

Plant Defense Against Herbivory

Island that’s disappearing because of global warming