“I would never disrespect a lighter so as to use one for anything other than doing drugs”

“As a regular offender of legality… I’m impressed”

“Screaming alone in your car while delivering pizzas”

“Santa is probably going to start using 3D printing”

“He’s saying a lot more. There’s a lot that he’s not saying too, that’s being said.”

“That connects all the dots… into a butt!”

“A blob-shaped dolphin or a dolphin-shaped blob”

“I’d like to introduce you to my friend Jungle Jim. He’s putting on a wordplay.”

“Rich fat people who have had their genitals mutilated on planes crossing oceans”

“I’ll take 95% of $5. I don’t give a shit.”