Monthly Archives: May 2016

“I would never disrespect a lighter so as to use one for anything other than doing drugs”

“Picking up shit in heaven is better than taking shits in hell”

“Mulligans are for golfers and hobos”

“This is not the spur of the moment it’s the taint of the moment”

“You probably catch as many or more flies with turds than you do with honey.”

“He would rather be out of tortilla chips than out of blood”

“I’m not chasing metaphor squirrels I’m playing meta foursquare!”

“This information is a vegetable. I will not be digesting it at all, in that case.”

“I’m not just ready… I was BORN premature.”