“If you think we can make a good net to catch a dolphin, imagine how good a net a dolphin could make to catch a person.”

“We do need to bring back the briefcase and the stopwatch. The briefcase is for when you have sand in your vagina and you need to change your underwear, and the stopwatch is just STOP. STOP. STOP.”

“Sugar is the worst thing we’ve ever invented for humans. Beyond heroine, beyond everything else. Sugar gives you cancer, and diabetes, and aids. Cancer-betes-aids! Cancerbaids!”

“The disease of the future. This is what our grandchildren are going to have to contend with: Cancerbaids… from sharing… rusty marijuana needles.”

“We all turn into pigeon holes one day… as people.”

“You know what I like about words is how they mean one thing and we all know what that thing means, so when you use a word everybody knows exactly what that means and there’s no question. That’s what I like about words.”

“Naturally pants descend occasionally during conversation. In my experience. More often than not.”

“Their brains power up to maximum level and light up like a firefly alone in a forest”