Monthly Archives: January 2016

“Despotic leaders litter human history. It’s mostly what we have – is people being dickbags in office.”

“If you ever eat a banana that’s especially large, it’s a little bit emasculating.”

“From a dog whistle to a whale fart, and everything in between”

“A lot of small splashes and neanderthals falling at the end of round 2”

“If you look in the back room there’s a bunch of komodo dragons licking enormous paper mache scrotums.”

“Yeah I just tore right out of mom. Almost killed us both. It was hilarious.”

“I feel like I’m not running for president but, then again, I’m not running for president.”