Monthly Archives: December 2015

“I was shaming myself amongst the northern lights…”

“I’m telling you, check all anuses. Do a cavity search of the whole house.”

“It’s not a spit take it’s a spit give”

“I don’t blame jokes for being jokes I blame douchebags for taking them seriously”

“Hot Claus”

“Ho down at the hootenanny! She tripped on some poontang!”

“Cause you’re the kind of person who’s out at the intersection of Nature and Nurture in the middle of a Tuesday, buying one pack of smokes with mostly change. One of the bills was wet. Just one of them.”

“Let’s get all the bitches straight!”

“How else am I supposed to pilot a vehicle properly without gauntlets!?”