Monthly Archives: November 2015

“Does that beard come with automatic windows?”

“Maybe aliens, when they come down, their ballsacks will look like Balzacs”

“It’s like a pub crawl but for adorable internet memes”

“That’s my metaphor for humanity. Just Mike Tyson wailing on his own nutsack as hard as he can.”

“So I see in the back of the shop what appears to be a human bag of douche shaking its head at me”

“You started the game and then you got defensive suddenly”

“Please tell Mr. Slippywitz that he left his shark at the party and so we ate it.”

“Welcome to Earth – Where curling is an olympic sport and wrestling is not.”