Monthly Archives: October 2015

“I always have a lot of extra hose in my trunk just in case.”

“Miley Cyrus is like a weird frequency of human… that we don’t need.”

“Normally when things are super I’m all aboard. But not in this case. Like a super-rainbow, or a super-disco, or a super-orgy – I’m all-in… in more ways than one.”

“I wish there was a Sandlady so sleep wasn’t so gay”

“He’s created a neverending river of happiness throughout all of eternity. And I would thank you to respect that! And do your laundry in it, as well!”

“Coolness first. Excellence second. Safety third.”

“I stopped giving shits two weeks ago. That is why I am speaking to you in this doctor’s office.”