Monthly Archives: April 2015

“We don’t need you to come in. We know what your nipples look like. I’ve got them memorized. They haunt my nightmares. I can no longer make love to my wife.”

“I did the math using common core and, from what I can tell, you owe me seven tomatoes and also four tomatoes and two tomatoes and six tomatoes.”

“Everyone knows how to turn lemonade into pee. But can you get it back the other way?”

Bear with us for the first several minutes of this ‘cast as there are some microphone difficulties, but they clear up soon enough!

“Everyone who you offended gets to stand in line and punch you in the balls. And if you don’t have balls by the end it, that’s your own fault. You should have thought of that.”

“You know, I don’t think that kids are sniffing enough markers. I think we can really resolve this issue. Kids should really be inhaling more artificial flavorings and chemicals… marker chemicals.”

Hang onto your fanny packs, this is by far the wildest epidode yet!